Well holy cow folks, it has been almost a year. What the heck have I been doing with my time? Well, it’s been a busy life I tell ya. Juggling 3, now 4 children and all of our extra curricular activities has taken a toll on my hobbies! We celebrated our first year married and our first child together. He is absolutely adorable and we couldn’t have made a more perfect child. Sure, sure I’m going to be biased. I have to be.
Since this blog is about our path, I will try to stay on course with Selena, however Jacob and our adventures back wearing, cloth diapering and being a newborn might get in the way. I will allow this post to catch us up with Selena and her behaviors before I get to in depth with all this new way of parenting which has me tickled pink.
With every new baby comes a sibling that gets jealous. Selena does just that. She has moments where she is super duper out of this world jealous and will act passive aggressively towards him and us. We had a scary incident where she actually covered his face up with stuffed animals and said that she did it because she wanted him to be quiet. I just so happened to have a towel in my hand and put it against her face and explained that this is what she did to him. I hope she got the picture, because I don’t need her smothering her brother because she doesn’t understand anything different. I feel bad not allowing her to be alone with him, but until I can be 10000% sure she isn’t going to pull some stunt again, I can’t allow her that alone time.
Another instance is when we had our first meal post pregnancy where I didn’t have Jacob hooked to my boob and he was sleeping in his crib. Selena then yelled so loudly that she woke him up and I had to pause dinner to tend to Jacob. Well, I was livid, crying and emotional. It had been just about 2 weeks into this new adventure and I was so overly exhausted that I lost it. I told her that when I got to eat my meal, she would be allowed to eat hers as well. She got so upset and ran to her room. With Selena it’s all or nothing. If she gets into trouble, the world has ended, sign the will, her life is over. So needless to say she was very upset. Whenever she screams, throws things, has meltdowns or refuses to do an undesired activity, she has a consequence to deal with. Either it being time out, grounding, an item being taken away – she has to accept her fate. Well she always gets upset when this happens and starts bawling her eyes out telling me that I hurt her feelings and that I should say sorry to her. Say sorry to her for being a bad child and me having to punish her? That’s preposterous. I refuse. I do have talks with her after everything has settled down but I don’t think she grasps anything. It never feels like there is closure or something gained. I don’t think she ever really learns her lesson.
She has been medication free. I removed them from her when we had a lapse in her insurance. It’s not like I could afford more than $600 a month is prescription medications. When she was last on her medications she was on Respiridone and Lamictal. After we removed her from these medications, her anxiety has actually gone down substantially but her aggression and defiance has risen tremendously. After the medicine was out of her system, her hunger rose! She was eating everything in sight, she couldn’t get enough of it. It tapered down and now we have an opposite effect, she is barely eating anything. She has gotten so tall and lean, I just want to shove cheeseburgers and ice cream down her throat all day long to bulk her up some!
I’m trying to think of the time line and what I need to address. Time has gone so quickly. I keep telling myself that everyday I’ll write and everyday I don’t. I’m sure if I were to look at my drafts, there would be quite a few. Hmmmm…..Good thing I did! I found an unpublished post from friggin February! What the heck man! So yes. Awesomesauce.
From February to now, things have been progressively getting worse with her behavior. From punching and head butting, to being completely disruptive in class, to biting. She is now a biter. How do you fix biting? I had a talk with her, she knows that it’s time to go back to the doctor and to get back on some medication to try to curb the aggression. I really don’t want to do that, however I don’t feel that she is going to get any better and grow unless we can stop the feelings long enough for her to learn how to address them within herself.
She broke her arm about a month before school ended! She was pushed from the top of the slide and her wrist and hand was literally beside her arm (within the skin still) but it broke right off. That was a grueling 6 hours in the ER while we waited for them to re-set her arm so we could go home and see the ortho. They said we needed to do surgery. Morphine also does not do a thing for her and she still squealed like a pig. I felt terrible. I was 3 rooms down feeding Jacob while they were resetting the fracture and I could hear her screaming out for me. Naturally I had to go, if I didn’t I would have regretted it my entire life! Well…we got through that adventure. Then there was surgery. But before that I found her climbing up on the top bunk! Seriously kid?!
Surgery was BRUTAL. Not the part of going in, or being put under or even the surgery itself which lasted a whole 7 minutes. It was the coming to from the anesthetic. I came into the recovery room, 2 people restraining her, her iv being pulled out and bloody, her screaming like no one’s business. Holy cow. I can say that I never want to see that ever again! Naturally I was wearing Jacob the whole time, at least he was sleeping through the whole thing. We painstakingly made it through the cast time with only one instance of getting it wet and a birthday pool party rescheduling. That was some ride! I wanted off!
Will start a new post so I don’t drag this one on too long.