Dirty Shoes

Join us with our journey through Autism Spectrum Disorder

October 30, 2013 *part 2* October 31, 2013

Ok, I’m back. I didn’t make it to class due to this wonderful virus going around that our family seems to have gotten (except Selena, she is our robot child who rarely gets ill) and I just needed to rest. We had a wonderful dinner and a great conversation at dinner. We always make it a no cell phone zone and only during special times do we allow her and us to watch a family movie while we are eating dinner. Dinner is a time for communication, togetherness and our time together to catch up with our day. Although getting Selena to talk about her day is about as easy as asking a chimpanzee to type a novel, we can get a few things from her. I do miss her teacher writing everything she does during the day, it feels like we are just in the dark now with her school life. She is doing really well in her new class and I’m excited that she has been paired with her peers. Selena gets along with her classmates and there has only been a few incidents, most of them during the end of the week and during her medication changes. Her aggression has been pushed back a bit and I thank the medication for the emotional stability she has gained. I am hoping that as she gets older, her ability to understand her emotions will be more of a winner than the medication alone. As of right now, when we ask her how she is feeling, she rarely has a correct answer for us or she just tells us that her heart starts racing. A key sign of her anxiety.

Sorry if my writing has been a bit jumbled lately, I have been required to write a ton of structured essays so I guess this is my free for all escape from all of that nonsense! Hah. Bear with me, I am just happy to get some thoughts out, even if they are ranting.

Back to Selena. Her anxiety is pretty uncontrollable and it renders her just about useless and unable to function. Example: The bus schedule in the morning. As we all are aware, buses are rarely at your home or stop at the same time everyday, there are way to many variables to make it a consistent time. Well, this doesn’t work for Selena…at all. If it comes early and she isn’t 300% she freaks out. If she is standing at the door, with her backpack on, ready to go and we aren’t pretty much right next to her, she starts screaming for us and starts her arching jump splits. Going to be great if she wants to be a cheerleader! Hah! If the bus comes early, like it did the other day, and she is brushing her teeth; she immediately freezes, starts screaming, staring at herself in the mirror and is unable to continue and get finished. I have to physically turn her and finish her up, while she is screaming and help her get out the door. She BOLTS to the bus, at times she has hit her shin on the bottom step, screams at the bus aide and runs to her seat. I feel so bad because there is not a single thing that I can do for her. I am trying to allow her to be more independent, but that means we move on her time, not my time. So some days it just takes longer for her to get moving.

In the mornings, I don’t have to carry her, she will walk, but she walks with assistance. I stand behind her and help lead her because her balance is super off in the morning time. She has begun to refuse sitting up most mornings so I need to turn her legs off of the bed and sit her up to get her moving. Ah memories of being a CNA. Some mornings, she will get herself up, ready and come out dressed, but that is few and far between! Boy are we thankful for those days though!!! Every small improvement should be celebrated. Especially with high fives and awesome hugs! We have her eat breakfast now at home and it’s working out pretty well. In her new class, she doesn’t get any special treatment in the cafeteria in the morning anymore. They have aides that walk around and hurry them to finish up quickly and get to class. You can’t do that with Selena. So imagine how her days would go. Freak out over the bus, freak out at breakfast and then try to do her studies and be productive during the day when her morning just started out so crappy and emotionally draining. I am glad that we are able to make these subtle changes so that hopefully her emotional well being can become more stable.

My pregnancy is starting to become real for her and I believe it’s mostly because my belly is finally starting to show. She likes to come up and rub my belly, talk to the baby and ask questions about the baby. She picked out a toy for the baby when she was with Mahja and helped me pick out some cute neutral newborn outfits. Once we know what we are having, I want her to pick the “take home” hospital outfit. We are all so excited. I think she is torn on what she wants. She talks about wanting a boy so she’ll have a prince to play with, but also she is excited for a girl too. She has been playing with her baby dolls and coming up to me talking about how the baby will be that big and how she will take care of it. Selena does not understand some certain concepts with what babies know and what they just don’t understand. I am a little bit worried that she will not be so forgiving with the baby and may lash out just because she doesn’t know any better. I hope that with some cute stories, lots of talks and time with the both of them, that she will be the biggest, most awesome sister one could ask for. This will definitely be interesting.

Girl Scouts has been interesting. We have been having fun, doing new things and have been getting to know each other pretty well. Our girls are becoming pretty good friends and now we are going to be trick or treating tomorrow together, which will be awesome! There are at times with meetings, where she will not participate or even be able to sit in the same room together with the other girls. At times she just wants to scream and hide, and we let her and I go to her after a few minutes and tell her that we all want her to join us, that I will be right beside her and that she won’t be alone. At times this works, but not always. We just had our Halloween Party and I am now getting ready for our Christmas party. Yes, yes, yes, I am aware that it is not that close, however with our busy schedules, I need to start planning now so I don’t have to worry about it along with everything else that comes along with Christmas! We are going to do a parade this year! Super stoked!! I went through and wrote down the key things I would like to do for each badge and now have a book in the works for the girls to take home, write in, have their parents sign off on, for each step of the badge and for what we will be doing together so that we can get some things accomplished with our troop! We need a plan of action and be set for the future meetings to help relieve some stress of planning everything between each meeting!

One last note, as I am getting tired and starting to rant. Selena makes me so proud, for who she is, how far she has come and how wonderful of a daughter and person she is growing to become. We get compliments for our parenting style with her and how we tackle the issues we face with her. I know we aren’t perfect, but we don’t stop trying, we don’t stop trying to figure ways out to help her. We don’t give up and it is paying off. Every day, every month, every year, Selena gains new behaviors, loses behaviors and only gains more abilities and knowledge. I am proud to be her Momma, I wouldn’t wish for her to be anyone else.


P.S. Happy Halloween!! I might as well just make this October 31, 2013 since it is 10 minutes until tomorrow.


October 30, 2013 October 30, 2013

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 9:48 pm
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So Selena is going to be a big sister here on May 4, 2014!! She is very excited about becoming a big sister to a little baby!

Her teeth have been falling out pretty well. She lost both top teeth and then a little canine beside her one top tooth. Only 1 tooth has been coming in up top, so it’s a bit awkward right now for her.

School has been going well, we just had her IEP review because it is time for updates since her initial IEP. It went interesting. I finally met the school psychologist, she hasn’t been a part of any other IEP meeting, so I am unsure as to why she sat in at this one. She just kept forcing her opinion that Selena isn’t in the Spectrum and that Selena needs to be reevaluated because she doesn’t feel that it is even a PDD that Selena is dealing with. I feel as though she is not correct with her judgement. She was very opinionated, thinks that Selena just manipulates and does things that kids this age haven’t learned yet. Well duh. If no kid in her age range has been tested and reviewed for these types of behaviors because they don’t possess the ability to have learned them yet, then WHY would Selena be any different. I don’t know, I don’t like her and I hope that we don’t have to interact again. She was not open to any suggestion other than her own and I don’t appreciate that. When you’ve met one Autistic kid, you’ve met ONE Autistic child.

Yes, Selena is high functioning, but you cannot tell me that she isn’t in the spectrum, there are too many behaviors that line up and too many instances, recorded events, actions and conversations with her that would prove otherwise. If for some chance her first diagnosis was wrong, I will grant a window for error, however her GARS reports, her observations, and everything else tends to prove otherwise. No she is not as bad as other kids, but yes, her issues are still very very very real. Her anxiety makes her just about non-functioning.

Her teacher did point out about how smart she is and how she is right on track with the curriculum and other children for 2nd grade which is WONDERFUL!!! However, if we could only get her emotions and anxiety under control then just think of how much more she could learn and retain in just a year of school. Shoot, a month of schooling! I have faith that this will all work itself out. She is getting better and better every single day and I have no doubt that she won’t be something amazing when she gets older, because Selena is already something amazing now.

We have to go to dance class now, we have enrolled her in Jazz, Hip-hop and Tap and she loves it! She mostly just loves shaking her butt and looking at herself in the mirror at class. Haha. I am just glad that we can have her involved with something where she feels that she is a part of something greater.

I have class tonight after dance, so I will try to update more then and post another post up to finish what I was thinking.



August 10, 2013 August 11, 2013

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 2:28 am
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Time sure does fly when life is busy! We just did our bridging/re-dedication ceremony today and Selena is an official Brownie Scout! How exciting! Emma and Hope joined the troop so we are going to have a blast with them as well!

Selena has been having a rough time with the transitioning back into the thoughts of going to school. She is having a bunch of meltdowns, having a hard time understanding things and being pretty defiant. The defiance is probably just due to her age and not the autism, but you just never know.

So I was thinking, at my rate of posting, it is going to be perfect for a movie when we get some more years down the path. Annnnnd…fade scene… hehe. Oh the joy of recording everything. I wish I were better at it. My plate is still rather full and I just tacked a bunch more things on. College! I will be going to college after work on Tuesdays, (after Cheer) on Wednesdays and Thursdays. We have been prepping her for it since whenever I get home late from work she freaks out. I don’t want this to be too difficult on her. At least it will only be for a few years and we will all be in a better place. I just worry with me being gone so much in the evenings, it makes me sad to think of missing out on dinners, homework and Wednesday’s bed times. At least it will give Daddy-O and Selena a chance to do some bonding. I think it’s important for a Daddy and daughter to stay close, this is a great opportunity.

We’ve been telling her which days I will be home late so she’s been telling our babysitter that she will be with Daddy on those days, which was rather confusing for Tameka until we explained everything to her. Selena has been having a blast with Tameka this summer. First it started out with going to Donna and Jude’s after summer school, which was interesting. Jude is special like Selena so they either loved each other or hated each other. Very set in their ways. LOL! It was good for her to hang around another child, so it was alright, they worked through their differences. Now she’s been hanging out with Tameka which started out good but now she is just being grumpy, lots of meltdowns and really tired. I don’t understand the being tired part, but maybe since everything is kind of a emotional roller coaster for her right now. We are trying to maintain the emotionally supportive role even though at times she deserves a swift butt spankin. They have been going to the library for all of the fun activities that they have to offer and playing with other little friends.

We recently took her out to celebrate her reading 30 books this summer so far! We went to Snook Haven and she enjoyed her time eating chicken wings and listening to live music after we spent the afternoon at the pool. She can swim with no floaties on….mostly!! She gets herself so worked up that she can’t focus and just gives up. I hope that she will continue to grow and be able to work through this so that these little things don’t stop her from accomplishing her goals. Selena loves the water and enjoys doing cannonballs into the water!

She lost her 2 front teeth and the Tooth Fairy treated her very well! She is loving the missing front teeth because now she looks like either a Tiger or a (nice) vampire. So adorable.

School is starting in 1 week from Monday, that should be interesting. She is wanting to go back very badly.

*Sorry, passing out, will have to write more later, sorry ūüė¶ *



June 30, 2013 July 1, 2013

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 3:56 am
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She is getting better with wierd textures! That’s all. She helped me bag the pork chops up. Selena did great!


February 20, 2013 February 20, 2013

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 9:55 pm
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I have¬†failed you bloggity! I have not written in so long and we’ve missed out on all the fun holiday stuff. I hope you won’t be too mad. Seems like every time I’d get started writing, something would interfere and I’d have to stop. Orrrr I was just really, really tired. Anyway, excuses aside. Selena has been doing pretty well considering the fact that her entire routine has been turned upside down. No school for 2 weeks! What is that about?! I understand teachers and holidays and all that, but I just wish there was something I could enroll her in for those 2 weeks so that we can keep on track with everything. There probably is and I just haven’t looked hard enough. Day after Christmas, Selena was upset that she wasn’t going to school. Every morning she is asking if she’s going to school, even though every night before I am telling her where she will be going. I should soak this up while I can, because once she hits 15/16 it’s all over! Heh.

No new nail picking and Selena is doing great in that aspect. She has started slapping and hitting herself now and doesn’t seem to know how to¬†not drag her feet. Gaaah!! We are buying new shoes just about every month.

And that from above was from Jan. 3rd. Sigh. I always think about writing and just never get to do it anymore. Gymnastics, Cheer, Girl Scouts and something else… Planning our wedding!!! EEEEE!!! My darling finally proposed to me and Selena is¬†so excited to have the same last name as everyone. Most days. Heh. She is too cute and talks about it often, but if you catch her on a bad day (like yesterday) she’ll cover her hands over her ears, keep her back towards you and tell you that you are the worst person in the world. Needless to say, things have been a bit¬†busy.¬†Always busy. Ask anyone we know and they’ll tell you that we never stand still long enough for our shadow to move. All that set aside, I will not bother to go too in depth with everything that I’ve missed telling you about because, that is just too much.

We started a garden! Selena loves working in it! She loves it so much that Papa & Grammy got her a garden set (which Rob and myself love too).¬†We have had some ‘harvests’ and it’s so neat to see her get so excited about picking pea pods and planting her own seedlings. I have a bunch of sweet peppers germinated so she’ll need to transfer them over to some soil and that will be so awesome for her.

Great Christmas, she got everything she wanted, except for the dancing robot. I could not find one anywhere! She enjoyed the Mrs. Potts tea set and tea cart. I swear when I opened up the box to assemble it, glitter encased our entire living room. Christmas went well, we were all spoiled by what Santa and our loved ones gave to us; ¬†she did wonderful at my brother’s house, I think that’s mostly because Emma and Hope were with us. Now that the Christmas honey moon is over and there were a few weeks off of school, the fun can begin. She was excited to be off school, then crying, then happy again and finally every day I would hear the same thing, “School today Mommy?” Every night before she went to sleep we’d count down the days and remind her that there was no school. Ugh. How happy she was to be back in school!!! I’m sure that will wear off soon enough. The new year came and left, Selena understood the months changing, but not the year. Just keep explaining over and over and over again, knowing that one day she’ll understand.

January became the month of change. An instant cut of our insurance got us scrambling for something, anything to help cover the $1,200 a month cost of medication. No more hippotherapy, which didn’t help nor hinder her in anyway; I’d rather have someone have the slot who can¬†substantially benefit from the hippotherapy. ¬†Applied for KidCare and SSI, which I have to call and make an appointment for the SSI which I can never seem to find the time for, which has to be done. It’s been crazy. Selena has been doing great in school, when she wants to and is scoring high on the Florida practice exams.

Girl Scouts has been going great, we are quite a few petals in; have done quite a few activities and now it’s cookie time! Selena is super stoked about this because she is a social butterfly. She does not have the traditional social wallflower behavior at all. She will go up to anyone, anywhere and tell them her name, that she’s a girl, that her name is Selena, that we are her parents and what our names are….it goes on and on! They are instantly her best friend and she will hunt them down and follow them everywhere. It is so bad that when Emma and Hope are with us, she will have nothing to do with them and tell us that!! I try to tell her that it hurts their feelings and that it isn’t a nice thing to say but frankly, she doesn’t care. Tunnel vision is in full swing and it doesn’t matter who is around her or who wants to talk to her. Get her on a playground and say good-bye to Selena because she isn’t on this planet anymore.

Injuries and behaviors. Oh here we are, time for the fun part of our little one sided chat. She has some interesting ways of hurting herself as of late. Slapping and hitting herself. At Girl Scouts she did it when she couldn’t get something right. At home when we ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do or agree with. I’m not sure what brings it on yet, if she’s doing it because she’s angry or if it’s because she is looking for some nerve stimulation or if she’s just being stubborn. Either way, she caught some crooked looks from the other girls and Rob had to remove her from the meeting to calm down (we could still hear her screaming though lol). Another injury which is peculiar. She is biting on her lips and breaking the skin open. I think she’s been doing it for a while but now she’s doing it worse – or she finally got caught. This one, I have¬†no idea¬†why she’s doing it and I have no idea how to stop her. Granted it doesn’t seem like she’s eating her lips off or anything, but if it’s something she does to cope with feelings, I want to find a way to get through to her so she stops doing it. She doesn’t seem to be dragging her toes as much as she was. I’m not sure if they are catching it or what’s going on, but her shoes don’t seem to take such a beating. Watch, I’ll say that and go home today to find her shoes all messed up!! Rolling her eyes. Does your child do this? When we are eating she rolls her eyes into the back of her head and if you didn’t know Selena, you’d think she was going to start spinning her head around vomiting everywhere. We ask her about it and she just blows it off,¬†unknowing¬†of what she is doing. She is always ‘coloring’ things with her finger. You know how you pretend to squish peoples heads? Squint and squish-squish. Well, she does that but like she’s coloring with her finger or hand sometimes. I guess our house needs a little bit more color. Irritating if she’s doing that while we are trying to talk to her. Routines, ugh. Don’t F with the routine. That’s well known though, so no surprise there. That’s it for now, I’m sure that I will think of more right after I hit the Publish button.

Now to end on a good note – since I am about to punch out and I don’t know when I’ll be back (no point in beating around the bush).

Selena is about to turn 7 and I am thrilled that she has come as far as she has! I cannot express enough how happy this makes me. We are constantly working with her and always trying to take our time and show her everything. Talk to her about everything and just be there for her. Times get rough, patience gets thin and she likes to tell us just what she thinks of us (which can be really mean) but all in all, she is my beautiful little girl who is taking her time with growing in this big world. I don’t think I could imagine it any other way.

I’ll be back as soon as I can. Thanks for your patience.






November 21, 2012 November 21, 2012

I know, I know. You don’t have to say it and neither do I. Let’s just say that procrastination + a super over-flowing plate = blogging getting pushed to be a back burner activity. Let me try to play catch up while I have a chance to. I will probably rant a bit and talk about this and that and make a ginormous post. So take a minute, go to the bathroom, get a drink, maybe a snack and then come back. We’ll be here.

Where did we leave off? Oh yes, Halloween! Lately, when we are going to be having a lot of changes in schedule, I try to get her full attention and explain to her what the day will be like, what we will be doing and what order we’re doing it in. I’m not sure if it has been effective yet, but I will continue to do that for her! ASD or not, I think every child should be informed and not just toted around mindlessly. This Christmas break should be interesting for her and hopefully we will get through it smoothly.

A quick thing about her meds, she is on them full time, 3x a day and when we miss a dose, we can tell! Also, I tried to start weening her off them by cutting 1 dose in half once a day and it was bad. I don’t think she’s ready to be cut back on them, which is a bit upsetting because I’d love for her to not be on them! However, I am thankful she has them, because the things we are experiencing now with her behaviors would be much, much worse. I have hope that with time and growth she will be able to cut back on them, I just don’t think that right now is a good time, especially since we’re heading into the holiday season.

Halloween went great, she got herself ready and came walking down the hallway with her costume on, her broom between her legs, holding her lantern and her cauldron and her kitty purse and then realized that she didn’t have enough hands to effectively hold everything! I hooked her pumpkin lantern to the end of her broom and we were ready to go! ¬†I got a bunch of glow sticks so we could wear them like necklaces and she really enjoyed hers because they gave us all magical powers. We had a good run going with the trick or treating and we got to the last road in our little neighborhood and it was the most alive one yet! Lights, music, people carrying on, tons of decorations! Me and Daddy were excited to go down a not so drab street like the others…but Selena would have no part of it. She was done and wanted to go home and since we were going out for her, it was time to go home. For her it isn’t about the candy or going out late. It’s about Selena getting to dress up and go into a fantasy world where she is a good witch that spreads her magic and says hello to everyone.

*****Super side note! I love her echolalia at times! Especially when we are hanging out with Erin and Gareth, because Gareth is¬†British! She blatantly tries to repeat how he says things, it is just too cute. It all started with Harry Potter – magical things, cool accents, and the general awesomeness of it all. It went from repeating simple Harry Potter lines, to using the accent with everyday conversations and I won’t lie, I helped perpetuate it because I get a bar-wenchy kind of accent when I try and it’s just fun. So back to Gareth. We were helping them bottle up some beer one evening and Selena was in full swing, just carrying on and repeating anything he’d have to say. It was a riot!!! She did pretty good too.¬†Having behaviors and quirks that are brought on by the autism is not always a bad thing! Try to take these things and turn them into a positive behavior.¬†Granted, not all of the behaviors associated with autism can be manipulated into a positive light, but some of them can and you should take every opportunity to show your child that they may have something going on with them, but they are still amazing and unique. Gosh I’m just ranting today, here goes another rant.

Disciplining a child with Autism is so absolutely confusing and frustrating (for both parties). When do you discipline them? When do you give them support, love and encouragement instead of a spanking or time-out? How do you know if it’s getting through to them? How do you know if they are acting out because they want to or if it’s just a result of a sensory overload? I have went over a few instances in the past, where disciplining was so ineffective but I didn’t realize that until much later. Now when she has bad days and does things wrong, I try to get her to communicate with me, which is usually a dead end and only because if I ask her how she was feeling, all she says is that her heart started beating really fast and it was going crazy. Anxiety attack maybe? We’ll keep working with her and hopefully we’ll find something that works for Selena. Her behavioral pediatrician said that when she does all these things at school: the meltdowns, lashing out, being disruptive, not doing her work; that we should support her when she gets home, be there for her and ‘gentle’, soothing, and promote a relaxing environment because she is so emotionally drained from a rough day at school. You can visibly see that she’s had a rough day, her eyes are a bit swollen or a bit sunk in and she has dark circles around her eyes and she looks like she had been up for days. I can agree with the pediatrician to an extent. If she’s have genuine meltdowns then yes, we should be supportive and not be rough with her. However, if she is consistently being disruptive, trying to cause physical harm to anyone, or anything along those lines, I will try to at least give her a good talking to and try to get through to her.¬†If you have any suggestions or have experienced this and know of a way to effectively get through to her, please please please let me know!!¬†

Alright so back on track with what we’ve been up to. Halloween – check. Oh Girl Scouts!! Selena is really enjoying her time as a Girl Scout and she got invited to her very first birthday party!! I remember times when I have cried because she still hadn’t been invited! We are doing crafts, bonding and having a blast! We are about to start making some homemade ornaments so we can deliver them to a local nursing home. Selena has earned her light blue petal, for being honest and fair; her dark blue promise center, for gaining the basic concept of the Girl Scout Promise; her violet petal, for being a sister to every Girl Scout and we’re working on her orange petal, being responsible for what I say and do.

We have started doing chores around the house and for every chore that gets done, she gets $0.10 per chore done once a day. We have a rotating ‘chore schedule’ that varies week to week with some basic chores that are done every week and a few that get rotated between the girls. They are really enjoying it. Let’s see how long it lasts! I have a banking notebook all set up with their Savings Account balances, their Allowance balance and our Family Fun Account balance. When they get paid, they get to keep all of it in their allowance jar, but as soon as they want to ‘cash it out’ then the mathematics begin! 10% goes into their savings and 10% goes into the family fun account and they get 80% to do with what they want. It was so cute, Emma had about $7 in her hand and she was counting it all as Mahja asked her what she was saving her money for and she said, so I can buy something at the Dollar Tree. Oh how cute, if she only knew she could already buy 7 things there. I love their innocence. I know that right now Hope likes to do chores because she gets sticker stars, Emma feels like a big girl and Selena like the stickers too, but I am hoping that as time goes on they really gain a concept of saving money and being responsible for what they do, how they take care of themselves and their things.

Our garden has begun! 4 pumpkin plants, a tomato plant (going to get a few more), green pepper plant, 8 green bean plants, 8 broccoli plants, 8 pea plants, 3 healthy basil plants, 2 cayenne pepper plants (one has a super nice pepper on it), 2 cilantro (waiting for the other seeds to perk up), and trying to grow some chives. Selena loves to water the plants and help take care of them! I can’t wait for her to be able to go out and pick some fresh stuff off! Taking care of the plants are part of their chores, not like they need any incentive to help with the garden, they love it!

Thanksgiving is coming up, tomorrow actually and the girls are going to make some decorations for the tables, help make some homemade butter and be great little helpers in the kitchen. Selena is handling this well I think, I am going to go over everything with her tonight so she won’t be so in the dark. She is at Grammy and Papa’s today, hopefully she’s having fun! I’m sure she is. Grammy said something about shopping!! She went over there last night to spend the night so I didn’t have to rush around all crazy in the morning before work, which actually turned out well because Daddy proposed to me!!!! The girls have all agreed to it and Selena said she wanted to have Daddy’s last name and to be a ring girl or a flower girl. How adorable!!

One last thing while I can think of this, remember last year around this time Selena was chewing on her fingers and fingernails, and she almost had to have 3 nails removed and 2 fell off and all that jazz? Well…she’s back at it again and I am trying to do¬†everything¬†to stop her from chewing her nails!! Her therapist at horses gave her some hand play toys to try to keep her hands occupied. However, I can’t let her bring them to school so that leaves the whole bus ride to her disposal. I might have to get the gloves back out again before it gets worse. This year she isn’t chewing her nails, she is picking and chewing the skin by where her cuticles are at the base of her nails. My goodness. This girl just has such a low pain tolerance. Like last night, I get home and she has a HUGE mark over her right eye and a note saying that she ran into another pole or door coming out of the bathroom. I am thinking she hit one of the poles in the bathroom that makes up the stalls. So regardless, she is going to have a black eye for Thanksgiving. She didn’t complain about it at all or anything. So as we’re going to walk out the front door, she walks backward for some reason and smacks the doorknob right into the back of her head. Selena just starts to walk away, I grab her and ask if she’s ok and she told me that she was fine since she wasn’t crying. Daddy got the ice pack and I had her come close to me to check her head out. I told her that she can feel pain and be hurt even if she doesn’t cry. That makes me worried a bit. Because I know she runs into things often and can be clumsy sometimes, I wonder how many times she has actually been hurt, but since she didn’t cry she didn’t think she¬†was hurt. How many times has she suffered through the pain, not realizing that we could’ve helped her?

I promise, I promise, I promise I will try to write more often than once a month. I will make time for you!!

Have a great Thanksgiving and I hope you get to spend it with your friends and family!!


Oh and Amy, you are so kind, thank you for power reading our journey and the wonderful things you have said, if you have any insight or have any suggestions, please let me know ūüôā Also, feel free to use our experiences, I’m delighted that our story has helped at least one person!


October 30, 2012 October 30, 2012

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 2:07 am
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Oh time, you have once again rushed past me again. Things are going alright with Selena, with the season of sickness upon us, we are going to be seeing a lot of behaviors flare up as her mood and immunity levels decrease. We will just be there for her and move forward with our pursuit of happiness. I haven’t gotten to write in a while, but we are back on her meds full time which is a major help. We are a promise center and a light blue petal into our Daisy adventures and we are going to start working on our orange petal – being responsible for what I say and do. This should be interesting. We have started doing chores at the house already to kind of prep her up for it, and some of the things on there are not activities that she does very well, so when she does achieve them by herself, they mean much more to her because there is a visual aid to back it up, also money…everyone loves money.

Halloween is coming up and we have been making crafts, carving pumpkins, planting pumpkin seeds (which grow at a¬†phenomenal¬†rate) and getting our costumes fine tuned for the big day! I had to hide her costume from her because I’m sure she would’ve worn it out before she’d gotten to wear it out at trick-or-treating. Getting her ready to trick or treat is easy, but getting to change the subject after it’s all done with is a whole different story. Last year we were knocking on doors and asking for trick or treat over and over for months until Christmas came along. We’d have to relive Halloween again and again. Now, I love my child, but there comes a time when you have to say ENOUGH!!!!

She’s been doing really good in school and just lately has she started really acting out. Yesterday was a 2 hour meltdown, refusing to eat until everyone left the classroom and then refused to do any work at all. What reason might you ask? She said her heart was beating fast. Ok. So we’ll be there for her, explain that we have bad days and talk her up for tomorrow.

We have come to the holiday season and her anxiety level is going to increase, so I fear that her issues and behaviors are going to come alive again. However, we are seasoned players now and we have a better grasp on what we can do for her to help her cope with all the feelings she has. I will try to write again tomorrow, you caught me at the tail end of the day.