Dirty Shoes

Join us with our journey through Autism Spectrum Disorder

October 21, 2016 October 22, 2016

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 11:07 pm

Selena is a proud big sister to 2 little brothers. The 2 1/2 year old really get on her nerves at times, the 7 month old is still too cute to really irritate her. Give it time, it will happen! She i s 10 now and I can’t believe we have made it this far! We did move further south, so that meant a entirely new county and a new school system. After taking forever to get her into an appropriate school, we finally got her enrolled and started. A few weeks in between school was a difficult transition for Selena. Her teachers have already experienced her throwing her desk and ripping her papers into shreds. I keep reminding her that if she doesn’t do her work in class, she will be doing it when she comes home. A tantrum doesn’t get her out of it, it just interferes with her home fun time. Her and the para don’t get along, so it is causing some issue with Selena during her first small group session. The teacher has given her the option to move back to her desk and read or do her literacy worksheet. Selena has made good choices once so far, let’s hope she starts to make better choices when she understands that the work will get done, either way. Honestly though, they don’t have snack in there, it’s around the same time everyday when she starts getting like this. Maybe she needs a little pick me up? Look, you’re helping problem solve this already!

Selena is super into Legos right now, it is nice to see her creative juices flowing. She has already applied her building skills to real life, and made this cool little play thing for Jacob out of spare wood pieces. It was a good job, I was impressed. I wanted to start a Lego club for her, I am going to do some research and see if there is one in the area. If not, I don’t mind having one here, there is plenty of space for parking, etc. Just need to get all of these boxes emptied out and the house put together first before I start wanting people to come by! Plans aren’t really her thing, she is a free form thinker and architect. I will have to upload some pictures to this blog of her creations. I am hoping that Santa brings some Lego pieces because they sure do get expensive! Heh.

Her ninja skills are coming along. She is able to scale things better, and her tree climbing skills are most definitely improving. Now she just needs to work on the loudness at which she jumps and climbs down from things. Selena is a pretty good spy, so you should watch yourself around her, no secrets here! This has been going on for a few years now, so I am thinking that she may really want to be a spy, heh. I know a few retired spies, maybe they can chat with her about the skills and training needed to be the best spy around.

Selena is finally getting taller and she is starting to outgrow her clothes! Phew! I have been waiting for this day for years! I can’t wait to buy her some pretty new clothes. I do have a few bags of 6/8/10 stuff that is going out, so if you are reading this and know of a little girl that could use these clothes, please let me know asap, I am not holding on to them much longer! Her style is very girly, and she puts outfits together pretty well. Cleaning is still a super chore, so sometimes it is difficult for her to find her clothes. I want to get into her room and just organize the snot out of it, but these boys keep me so busy! Selena is probably relieved that I don’t have time to get in there and do a proper scrub down. Kids are so messy, even when they are clean they are messy.

Power Rangers are a new hit for her. She loves the action packed scenes and the monsters. Her face lighting up when she saw certain movies were available was so refreshing. Life is finally getting back to normal, thank goodness! We were already approved for ABA therapy, however I really don’t want anyone in here that isn’t my friend or family until the home is put together. Again, I’m pretty sure she is relieved that I don’t have a therapist in here just yet. It is coming girl, oh it is coming. I would love to be able to communicate in such a way that we have more stress free nights, more fight free nights, less frustration and more clarity. If your family has insurance and you are having behavioral issues at home, you should most definitely check into it.

Going to upload this before I never do. heh. Be on the look out.


March 3, 2015 March 3, 2015

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 12:44 pm
Tags: , , , ,

So here I am again, trying to get a post out! Selena is doing so awesome, we just recently had birthdays and she is 9 years old now and still unmedicated. I truly believe that taking her off of the meds has helped her in more ways than I could imagine. However, we are going through some pretty difficult life changes and maybe some antidepressants might do her some good. She isn’t big with telling me how she is feeling, but she makes it known on her school worksheets in the margin and on the back. She will write things like “I am blue” and “I am insane”. I am currently seeking counseling for her so she can address these feelings and can get help to work through them. I have faith that she will come out of this low, it will just take more support than what I can give her and an unbiased, uninvolved ear to listen. My heart breaks for her as I hear her crying at night and generally feeling down. Other than this set back, she is excelling in so many areas and I am so proud of her!

Speech therapy is going great and at the last I.E.P. meeting, I found out that they want to graduate her out of speech therapy! What a joyful day that was! I cried tears of joy and every time I think about it or speak about it, I get so full of happiness that I can feel myself getting choked up. To think, just 5 years ago, she was not putting more than 2 words together and was not speaking sentences. Now a days, you would have no idea! I think that when she graduates from therapy, we should have a celebration!! Now to figure out how to do that!

We have been through so much, and it is starting to pay off! From speech, to meltdowns, to comprehension, I am amazed with this little girl. We still have a road ahead of us, but it doesn’t feel quite so rocky any longer. We do still have her battles as she is becoming more defiant and resistive towards me and adults towards undesired activities. She openly expresses how much she dislikes things and let’s me know that she is displeased and will refuse most of the time. Her aggression is also needing to be worked on since she can’t control it very well yet. She is quick to throw desks and cause quite the commotion in class. Selena’s attitude is atypical for a girl her age, just a bit more intense. I am hoping with the right structured support and reward system, that she will still be defiant, just with less hostility. I am now more aware of how I carry myself, as she is definitely picking up on it more and more everyday.

Jacob and Selena get along so well. He is only 10 months old, so she has yet to see what being a big sister to a toddler is like! I will catch her singing to him, holding and rocking him, and giving all of her love to him. Watching them interact when she doesn’t know I am watching, melts my heart. They are so excited to see each other that all I hear is laughter coming from the next room for a good half hour when she gets home from school. I have to keep reminding her that he feels pain and has emotions just like she does so she watches how she sets him down and interacts with him. I can successfully leave her in a room alone with him and not be afraid that she will unintentionally do something that would cause him harm. What an blessing, that was a scary couple of months! She is turning out to be an amazing big sister and I am blessed that it is working out so well between the two of them. I hope their relationship can become even stronger, especially when he gets to a more demanding age and she hits puberty.

A major milestone was hit just recently, she will get herself ready in the morning all by herself!!! Just a few years ago, she wouldn’t even walk to the bathroom, let alone get dressed, and now (on good days) all I need to do is wake her up to go to the bathroom! How awesome is that! It’s great because Jacob needs quite a bit of attention in the mornings and I just do not have the ability to orchestrate dressing her, and changing/feeding/tending to him. It definitely was rough the first 6 months of his life, but now just a few months later she is coming out of the back of the house all dressed and ready to go. We did have to play around with bedtimes, and I think we have finally got it right! Watch, I will say this and she will be a difficult child tomorrow morning!

One last thought, I hope that when she is old enough to understand that I have been writing about her for years, she doesn’t get upset or embarrassed. This is the story of Selena and I will continue to share our ups and downs as we navigate through such a confusing disorder. I love my Stinky and would do anything for her, no matter what!

Have a great day y’all.



August 9, 2014 August 10, 2014

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 2:05 am
Tags: , , , ,

Well holy cow folks, it has been almost a year. What the heck have I been doing with my time? Well, it’s been a busy life I tell ya. Juggling 3, now 4 children and all of our extra curricular activities has taken a toll on my hobbies! We celebrated our first year married and our first child together. He is absolutely adorable and we couldn’t have made a more perfect child. Sure, sure I’m going to be biased. I have to be.

Since this blog is about our path, I will try to stay on course with Selena, however Jacob and our adventures back wearing, cloth diapering and being a newborn might get in the way. I will allow this post to catch us up with Selena and her behaviors before I get to in depth with all this new way of parenting which has me tickled pink.

With every new baby comes a sibling that gets jealous. Selena does just that. She has moments where she is super duper out of this world jealous and will act passive aggressively towards him and us. We had a scary incident where she actually covered his face up with stuffed animals and said that she did it because she wanted him to be quiet. I just so happened to have a towel in my hand and put it against her face and explained that this is what she did to him. I hope she got the picture, because I don’t need her smothering her brother because she doesn’t understand anything different. I feel bad not allowing her to be alone with him, but until I can be 10000% sure she isn’t going to pull some stunt again, I can’t allow her that alone time.

Another instance is when we had our first meal post pregnancy where I didn’t have Jacob hooked  to my boob and he was sleeping in his crib. Selena then yelled so loudly that she woke him up and I had to pause dinner to tend to Jacob. Well, I was livid, crying and emotional. It had been just about 2 weeks into this new adventure and I was so overly exhausted that I lost it. I told her that when I got to eat my meal, she would be allowed to eat hers as well. She got so upset and ran to her room. With Selena it’s all or nothing. If she gets into trouble, the world has ended, sign the will, her life is over. So needless to say she was very upset. Whenever she screams, throws things, has meltdowns or refuses to do an undesired activity, she has a consequence to deal with. Either it being time out, grounding, an item being taken away – she has to accept her fate. Well she always gets upset when this happens and starts bawling her eyes out telling me that I hurt her feelings and that I should say sorry to her. Say sorry to her for being a bad child and me having to punish her? That’s preposterous. I refuse. I do have talks with her after everything has settled down but I don’t think she grasps anything. It never feels like there is closure or something gained. I don’t think she ever really learns her lesson.

She has been medication free. I removed them from her when we had a lapse in her insurance. It’s not like I could afford more than $600 a month is prescription medications. When she was last on her medications she was on Respiridone and Lamictal. After we removed her from these medications, her anxiety has actually gone down substantially but her aggression and defiance has risen tremendously. After the medicine was out of her system, her hunger rose! She was eating everything in sight, she couldn’t get enough of it. It tapered down and now we have an opposite effect, she is barely eating anything. She has gotten so tall and lean, I just want to shove cheeseburgers and ice cream down her throat all day long to bulk her up some!

I’m trying to think of the time line and what I need to address. Time has gone so quickly. I keep telling myself that everyday I’ll write and everyday I don’t. I’m sure if I were to look at my drafts, there would be quite a few. Hmmmm…..Good thing I did! I found an unpublished post from friggin February! What the heck man! So yes. Awesomesauce.

From February to now, things have been progressively getting worse with her behavior. From punching and head butting, to being completely disruptive in class, to biting. She is now a biter. How do you fix biting? I had a talk with her, she knows that it’s time to go back to the doctor and to get back on some medication to try to curb the aggression. I really don’t want to do that, however I don’t feel that she is going to get any better and grow unless we can stop the feelings long enough for her to learn how to address them within herself.

She broke her arm about a month before school ended! She was pushed from the top of the slide and her wrist and hand was literally beside her arm (within the skin still) but it broke right off. That was a grueling 6 hours in the ER while we waited for them to re-set her arm so we could go home and see the ortho. They said we needed to do surgery. Morphine also does not do a thing for her and she still squealed like a pig. I felt terrible. I was 3 rooms down feeding Jacob while they were resetting the fracture and I could hear her screaming out for me. Naturally I had to go, if I didn’t I would have regretted it my entire life! Well…we got through that adventure. Then there was surgery. But before that I found her climbing up on the top bunk! Seriously kid?!

Surgery was BRUTAL. Not the part of going in, or being put under or even the surgery itself which lasted a whole 7 minutes. It was the coming to from the anesthetic. I came into the recovery room, 2 people restraining her, her iv being pulled out and bloody, her screaming like no one’s business. Holy cow. I can say that I never want to see that ever again! Naturally I was wearing Jacob the whole time, at least he was sleeping through the whole thing. We painstakingly made it through the cast time with only one instance of getting it wet and a birthday pool party rescheduling. That was some ride! I wanted off!

Will start a new post so I don’t drag this one on too long.



February 25, 2014 August 4, 2014

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 2:50 am

Well hello! It’s been a mighty long while hasn’t it. Today is Selena’s 8th birthday! We have been through our ups and downs and all arounds over these last 8 years, but I wouldn’t change it for a thing. We celebrated her birthday this last Sunday and she was completely spoiled by all of our loved ones. I was in shock with how our family came through for her, I am so thankful to have them in our lives! They listen to our rants, help us with her behaviors and follow through with our silly ways. We couldn’t be more grateful.

Selena has been doing well in school, she is in the VE class still, she is excelling with her computer work and has surpassed into some 3rd grade work! However on her report card it shows that she is below level for Math and Lang Arts, which has me a bit puzzled because her teacher told me she’s past 2nd grade curriculum. We just updated her IEP, which was….SO AWESOME! Got to meet with the social worker and do all the testing again and updated all of our information, etc. 2 hours later we were done, for the next 3 years at least.

Her teachers decided together that they did not see a need for her to attend ESY (Extended School Year) so she is not eligible for that at this time! Yay! No summer school! How awesome! Whenever we would have any kind of school break where she took off more than just the weekend, the teacher would notice a regression with her learned information so we always had to have her go to summer school. I don’t know how it is around you, but here it is rather stressful to figure out child care, especially for someone who has issues with a basic summer camp and can’t just go anywhere! So ESY in our school district for elementary schools starts around 9am, gets out around 1:45pm and they don’t attend on Fridays and then through the summer some Tuesdays and Wednesdays they don’t go. AND they get a week off in the middle for the 4th of July week and they get let out of ESY about 6 weeks before school starts….Maybe this year I should offer child care to those kids who need it from ESY because it was just a pain to pull that together. Thankfully we had Tameka that would assist with that. I know, I know, I should be thankful they offer this program in our district, but at times it does more harm than good. Quite honestly I am glad that she doesn’t have to go for a number of reasons.

Behaviors. Ah my favorite part of our little conversations. What’s new?

We are still working on the anxiety and our morning routine. Prime example, she was standing out front waiting for the bus, back pack on and all, and the bus pulled up. Guess what happens next! She starts screaming and arching her back because we weren’t right out there beside her to give her hugs goodbye the second the bus pulled up, 5 minutes late. The BUS was late! We were on time! She is crying and runs to the bus screaming “I’m late!” The driver is smart now and doesn’t open the door until Selena is totally down there because she’ll bang her shins, which is a painful situation to witness.

I am still trying to get her to brush her hair, by herself. She likes to just slap the brush against her head and scream out it hurts. Well duh? Really? It’s going to hurt if you do that!! So I have been taking my hand over hers and adjusting her wrist as necessary to brush her hair. One day Selena…one day.

Teeth brushing has gotten better because Grammy & Paw Paw got her an electric toothbrush. We had to show her that she couldn’t just slowly run the toothbrush across her teeth and that she still needed to brush her teeth normally. After a bit of fussing, she’s gotten it down now and is just about a pro.

Going to bed at night has been a challenge! She is rolling and turning and fumbling around just as wide awake as can be. I feel for her and don’t question her attitudes or crazy moods right now because I know she’s got to be tired! In bed at 8:30 pm, check on her at 9 pm – still awake, check on her at 9:30 pm – still awake and needs lotion on her leg because it’s itchy, 10 pm – still awake and she’s thirsty now, 10:30 pm she is dozing off finally, then after that when I go to check on her she is talking in her sleep like she’s still partially awake. No wonder she’s exhausted and freaking out, Selena just has got to be so tired. Her eyes will show when she’s having a rough day, emotional or physical, so that’s when we know we really need to just halt everything and change our surroundings a little bit. I need to find something that works for her. Selena has been taking showers in the morning from time to time and that puts her in a decent mood actually, so we might just start doing that more often and skip the night time bathing.

This next quirk is an issue we are dealing with at home and at school. If Selena is presented a problem, situation or task that requires in depth critical thinking, she will just shut down and not do it. If a math problem isn’t to her liking or if we are asking her to do something that requires an actual thought process. All we can do is keep working with her and keep presenting her with these situations so we can try to work through them together so she will be more successful in life.


(Why did I not post this?!!!)


October 30, 2013 *part 2* October 31, 2013

Ok, I’m back. I didn’t make it to class due to this wonderful virus going around that our family seems to have gotten (except Selena, she is our robot child who rarely gets ill) and I just needed to rest. We had a wonderful dinner and a great conversation at dinner. We always make it a no cell phone zone and only during special times do we allow her and us to watch a family movie while we are eating dinner. Dinner is a time for communication, togetherness and our time together to catch up with our day. Although getting Selena to talk about her day is about as easy as asking a chimpanzee to type a novel, we can get a few things from her. I do miss her teacher writing everything she does during the day, it feels like we are just in the dark now with her school life. She is doing really well in her new class and I’m excited that she has been paired with her peers. Selena gets along with her classmates and there has only been a few incidents, most of them during the end of the week and during her medication changes. Her aggression has been pushed back a bit and I thank the medication for the emotional stability she has gained. I am hoping that as she gets older, her ability to understand her emotions will be more of a winner than the medication alone. As of right now, when we ask her how she is feeling, she rarely has a correct answer for us or she just tells us that her heart starts racing. A key sign of her anxiety.

Sorry if my writing has been a bit jumbled lately, I have been required to write a ton of structured essays so I guess this is my free for all escape from all of that nonsense! Hah. Bear with me, I am just happy to get some thoughts out, even if they are ranting.

Back to Selena. Her anxiety is pretty uncontrollable and it renders her just about useless and unable to function. Example: The bus schedule in the morning. As we all are aware, buses are rarely at your home or stop at the same time everyday, there are way to many variables to make it a consistent time. Well, this doesn’t work for Selena…at all. If it comes early and she isn’t 300% she freaks out. If she is standing at the door, with her backpack on, ready to go and we aren’t pretty much right next to her, she starts screaming for us and starts her arching jump splits. Going to be great if she wants to be a cheerleader! Hah! If the bus comes early, like it did the other day, and she is brushing her teeth; she immediately freezes, starts screaming, staring at herself in the mirror and is unable to continue and get finished. I have to physically turn her and finish her up, while she is screaming and help her get out the door. She BOLTS to the bus, at times she has hit her shin on the bottom step, screams at the bus aide and runs to her seat. I feel so bad because there is not a single thing that I can do for her. I am trying to allow her to be more independent, but that means we move on her time, not my time. So some days it just takes longer for her to get moving.

In the mornings, I don’t have to carry her, she will walk, but she walks with assistance. I stand behind her and help lead her because her balance is super off in the morning time. She has begun to refuse sitting up most mornings so I need to turn her legs off of the bed and sit her up to get her moving. Ah memories of being a CNA. Some mornings, she will get herself up, ready and come out dressed, but that is few and far between! Boy are we thankful for those days though!!! Every small improvement should be celebrated. Especially with high fives and awesome hugs! We have her eat breakfast now at home and it’s working out pretty well. In her new class, she doesn’t get any special treatment in the cafeteria in the morning anymore. They have aides that walk around and hurry them to finish up quickly and get to class. You can’t do that with Selena. So imagine how her days would go. Freak out over the bus, freak out at breakfast and then try to do her studies and be productive during the day when her morning just started out so crappy and emotionally draining. I am glad that we are able to make these subtle changes so that hopefully her emotional well being can become more stable.

My pregnancy is starting to become real for her and I believe it’s mostly because my belly is finally starting to show. She likes to come up and rub my belly, talk to the baby and ask questions about the baby. She picked out a toy for the baby when she was with Mahja and helped me pick out some cute neutral newborn outfits. Once we know what we are having, I want her to pick the “take home” hospital outfit. We are all so excited. I think she is torn on what she wants. She talks about wanting a boy so she’ll have a prince to play with, but also she is excited for a girl too. She has been playing with her baby dolls and coming up to me talking about how the baby will be that big and how she will take care of it. Selena does not understand some certain concepts with what babies know and what they just don’t understand. I am a little bit worried that she will not be so forgiving with the baby and may lash out just because she doesn’t know any better. I hope that with some cute stories, lots of talks and time with the both of them, that she will be the biggest, most awesome sister one could ask for. This will definitely be interesting.

Girl Scouts has been interesting. We have been having fun, doing new things and have been getting to know each other pretty well. Our girls are becoming pretty good friends and now we are going to be trick or treating tomorrow together, which will be awesome! There are at times with meetings, where she will not participate or even be able to sit in the same room together with the other girls. At times she just wants to scream and hide, and we let her and I go to her after a few minutes and tell her that we all want her to join us, that I will be right beside her and that she won’t be alone. At times this works, but not always. We just had our Halloween Party and I am now getting ready for our Christmas party. Yes, yes, yes, I am aware that it is not that close, however with our busy schedules, I need to start planning now so I don’t have to worry about it along with everything else that comes along with Christmas! We are going to do a parade this year! Super stoked!! I went through and wrote down the key things I would like to do for each badge and now have a book in the works for the girls to take home, write in, have their parents sign off on, for each step of the badge and for what we will be doing together so that we can get some things accomplished with our troop! We need a plan of action and be set for the future meetings to help relieve some stress of planning everything between each meeting!

One last note, as I am getting tired and starting to rant. Selena makes me so proud, for who she is, how far she has come and how wonderful of a daughter and person she is growing to become. We get compliments for our parenting style with her and how we tackle the issues we face with her. I know we aren’t perfect, but we don’t stop trying, we don’t stop trying to figure ways out to help her. We don’t give up and it is paying off. Every day, every month, every year, Selena gains new behaviors, loses behaviors and only gains more abilities and knowledge. I am proud to be her Momma, I wouldn’t wish for her to be anyone else.


P.S. Happy Halloween!! I might as well just make this October 31, 2013 since it is 10 minutes until tomorrow.


October 30, 2013 October 30, 2013

Filed under: The Usual — Chobie @ 9:48 pm
Tags: , , , ,

So Selena is going to be a big sister here on May 4, 2014!! She is very excited about becoming a big sister to a little baby!

Her teeth have been falling out pretty well. She lost both top teeth and then a little canine beside her one top tooth. Only 1 tooth has been coming in up top, so it’s a bit awkward right now for her.

School has been going well, we just had her IEP review because it is time for updates since her initial IEP. It went interesting. I finally met the school psychologist, she hasn’t been a part of any other IEP meeting, so I am unsure as to why she sat in at this one. She just kept forcing her opinion that Selena isn’t in the Spectrum and that Selena needs to be reevaluated because she doesn’t feel that it is even a PDD that Selena is dealing with. I feel as though she is not correct with her judgement. She was very opinionated, thinks that Selena just manipulates and does things that kids this age haven’t learned yet. Well duh. If no kid in her age range has been tested and reviewed for these types of behaviors because they don’t possess the ability to have learned them yet, then WHY would Selena be any different. I don’t know, I don’t like her and I hope that we don’t have to interact again. She was not open to any suggestion other than her own and I don’t appreciate that. When you’ve met one Autistic kid, you’ve met ONE Autistic child.

Yes, Selena is high functioning, but you cannot tell me that she isn’t in the spectrum, there are too many behaviors that line up and too many instances, recorded events, actions and conversations with her that would prove otherwise. If for some chance her first diagnosis was wrong, I will grant a window for error, however her GARS reports, her observations, and everything else tends to prove otherwise. No she is not as bad as other kids, but yes, her issues are still very very very real. Her anxiety makes her just about non-functioning.

Her teacher did point out about how smart she is and how she is right on track with the curriculum and other children for 2nd grade which is WONDERFUL!!! However, if we could only get her emotions and anxiety under control then just think of how much more she could learn and retain in just a year of school. Shoot, a month of schooling! I have faith that this will all work itself out. She is getting better and better every single day and I have no doubt that she won’t be something amazing when she gets older, because Selena is already something amazing now.

We have to go to dance class now, we have enrolled her in Jazz, Hip-hop and Tap and she loves it! She mostly just loves shaking her butt and looking at herself in the mirror at class. Haha. I am just glad that we can have her involved with something where she feels that she is a part of something greater.

I have class tonight after dance, so I will try to update more then and post another post up to finish what I was thinking.



August 23, 2013 August 24, 2013

Hey, hey! Has it been 2 to 4 months between my posts? Not quite there yet. I’ll come back later 😉 Hah just kidding! A lot of exciting and new things happening in our lives, that’s for sure! School just started this week and Selena is doing…alright. She is having a hit and miss kind of attitude, I’m sure it will level out once she get into more of a routine again.

This is a quick post, time seemed to have gotten away from me tonight. Some awesome points to make!!

They are going to move her from the self isolated room she’s in now and try her in a regular “VE” class, which is just a special ed class that has more than 6 kids and more work! I’m excited they will be working more with her with her writing and making complete sentences, she is not very good at that right now. She likes to put capital letters mixed into the sentences and she does not really like to be told to change it.

Hoping this all works out, this is a big step up for her!! We are so so so so so proud of you Selena!!

Also, Selena is going to be a big-big sister, we just found out that I am pregnant! I’m sure that this will be stressful for her as well, so I know that I’ll do everything I can to help make sure that this transition will go as smoothly as possible. The other girls are excited as well, Hope said good night to my belly. So adorable! Emma has her reservations, she is worried that we will throw her to the side when the baby comes! No way!! That will NEVER happen, we love our girls, each and every one of them and yes the baby will take some more attention at times, but that doesn’t mean we are going to leave the girls in the cold. We love them too much for that!

Selena lost both front teeth and all of the new ones are growing in nicely! I hope she can get her grinding under control, I’d hate to try to get her to use a mouth guard. Oi vey.

Girl Scouts tonight was challenging, she did not want to participate and spent most of the time hiding under the table and being in the back room hiding under a chair. She kept saying she was scared and couldn’t do it. I just let her be in a comfortable space and eventually talked her into coming back over, with my arm around her the whole time. I don’t know what was going on with that, but we are now have the meetings at our home, so that is also a big change, for all the girls! OOOOOOHHH and Emma and Hope are now in our troop!! Yippee!!!

I am now also going to college in the evening, Selena is handling that really well, we have been preparing for this for about a month. I’m glad we did, because if I’m just the slightest bit late coming home from work, she gets very worried and worked up, thinking that I’m never going to come home. Poor kid.

Time schedules in the morning are hell! She thinks she is always late for the bus, screaming, throwing herself down, jumping up into these split jumps and being very anxious. Mind you that this happens when she is standing on the driveway and the bus pulls up. Today she was taking her medications and the bus came, all I did was say that the bus was here and she totally lost it. I had to walk her up to the bus, she was panicking and screaming. The bus helper was trying to help her, but Selena was just arguing that she was late. I hope we can work through this, because it seems like a bad mental time for Selena and I know that I just want her to be happy, especially when she leaves us.

Ok, it’s late and I’ve tortured my darling enough. Hope to write more soon.


“The Night Owl”