Dirty Shoes

Join us with our journey through Autism Spectrum Disorder

March 29, 2015 March 30, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — Chobie @ 1:16 am

Well hello there! I hope your day is chugging along nicely by the time you are reading this! We were finally able to celebrate Selena’s 9th birthday with a slumber party! It was a great day. We started with some family games in Selena’s nice clean room, which took about 2 months for her to get to that point of “cleanliness”. We threw a ton of egg shells filled with paint at the fence again, that is always a blast. Jacob played in the yard with Grammy, Papa, and Linda while I scurried around trying to clean up last minute before everyone arrived. It is so nice to have so many extra sets of hands around to help entertain and keep Jacob preoccupied so I can sharknado around the house. Ben grilled some great food up for us, while the kids played with bubbles and drew all over the fence with chalk. I think that the best part of having older kids over for a party is that I can have a guideline of what to do and just let them go and have fun, intervening as I sense boredom setting in. Selena was TICKLED PINK! I would like to say that she is so adorable to watch while opening up gifts. She loves everything, was looking forward to the gifts she received and seems truly thankful for them. The slumber portion of the part ensued, the few girls that stayed had a blast, I had an evening of excitement planned out. Every night before the party, she would exclaim to me about how excited she was to be having a party finally, and that she is glad that I didn’t forget about it. I am sure that when she gets older and finally realizes and understands just how crazy life is for us right now, she will hopefully not resent me for things that happened during this phase of our life.

Oh, this phase of our life is ever changing and I am excited to see what tomorrow brings for us. She is confused though and wants Daddy to come home, however that is just not an option. I have respect for myself and my children, and do not want to teach them that certain types of behavior is acceptable, when it certainly is not. I am going to get us both into some family counseling, and maybe some 1 on 1 counseling for her so that she can maybe get some understanding on her feelings, and help overcome some negative feelings and emotions I am sure she is having. I am trying to do positive reinforcements and boost her up when I can tell she is being down, however she was acting out in such a way that I had to restrict her fun time activities and have her focus more on chores and getting our home straightened back up. Nothing like packing up an entire house to find out that you don’t have to move 4 days before the big day! I am very thankful that we didn’t have to move, and I am sure Selena is relieved as well. When that was all happening, she was probably more relieved than myself when she found out that we could keep our house!

So, she is 9, the attitude is ensuing, the hormones are going to start racing soon, as with puberty. Oh boy, puberty. I have begun to lightly talk about it to her, adding humor into the equation, so that she can get comfortable with the idea of it happening and hopefully comfortable enough to talk to me about the changes her body will face. She isn’t really growing any taller anymore, and her peers have always towered above her. Now the children in grades lower than her are also starting to tower over her, and it makes me wonder about her developmental timeline. I understand that children who are within the spectrum do not mature and grow as quickly as us “normal” folks, and her mental age is a few years back, so I expect it to be a slow process for her. Don’t get me wrong, I am FINE with that, however it makes the timeline for discussion kind of cloudy. I don’t want to start talking about it too soon for her and have her wonder what’s wrong with her since she hasn’t gone through those things yet, and on the flip side, I don’t want these changes to pop up one day and her be completely unprepared. Oh life, why must we live in such a gray area, why can’t things be black and white?! I guess that’s the thrill in this wonderful thing we call life.

She is doing well academically, she in on point with her peers, however I am not sure how that is since she never brings home homework and I know that Emma was bringing home tons and tons of homework in 3rd grade. I don’t doubt the ability of her teachers, but she needs to become more prepared for higher grades and get used to doing work outside of school. I have workbooks here for her to do, however it would be nice to have something that is directly related to what she is doing in class.

Proud Mommy Moment Alert! I am enrolled in this Healthy Families program where they come to the home every week or every other week and bring activities to do with Jacob, and all sorts of other information. They brought me some safety items like baby gates, cabinet locks, etc to help ensure that he is safe during this point of his little exploring life. Anyway, they put on this Easter celebration, complete with an egg hunt. Well, she was one of the oldest kids there and she has always done poorly at egg hunts because of her high levels of anxiety. Not here she didn’t! There were eggs EVERYWHERE and boy did she scoop them up in a hurry. Upon noticing that she was taking the “lead” in her little world where everything is a competition (gee I wonder where she gets that’s from 😉 ) I brought it to her attention that she had A LOT of eggs and that some of the smaller children were still getting started. So my awesome daughter took it upon herself to hide and scatter about 90% of what she found, leaving only 4 eggs in her once overflowing basket. That warmed my heart that she did it so effortlessly and without a hesitation. There was this adorable little girl in one of her best dresses, freshly made bunny paper bag in her little hand and holding onto Momma’s hand just looking around aimlessly for eggs to pick up in an area where the lands had been decimated by the older children. Selena saw her looking for eggs, hurried in front of her and dropped eggs in her path so that she could also find some treats and gain one of her first egg hunting experiences. My daughter may not always be understood, and her ways a little whacky at times, but underneath it all she has such an amazing soul and I hope she can shine her light on the people she meets. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for someone as talented, sweet, ornery, and cheerful as she is.

Everyday I am getting more and more proud of who she is and who she is becoming, it makes it seem as though I am doing a fairly decent job, although I know genetics play a role in her personality development.

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