This summer has been ridiculously hectic and not in a good way! Schedules constantly changing, always having to be shifted and recalculated. I have officially begun to despise summer break. I only hope that next year isn’t quite so crazy, which I’m sure it will be. We have been discussing trying to find a school that can accommodate Selena and also offer a full year schooling, to cut away from the schedule changes, meltdowns and negative behaviors. Let me see if I can list all the behaviors we have encountered since school has let out. Oh and we are back to using mittens to try to curve Selena’s picking problems. She is not even upset about using them, will tell you that she’s picking and chill with her mittens on. Hopefully it helps!!!
- Picking at bites and causing huge sores on locations without any skin breakage
- Nail biting
- Refusing to walk more often
- Throwing trays
- Kicking and punching
- Yelling and screaming
- Being defiant
- Straight up telling us ‘NO’ when asked to do things
- Touching – excessively ‘stroking’ Emma and Hope’s arms, faces
- Hard time going to sleep
- Refusing to do ‘fun activities’ – going on the playground, etc.
- Won’t cooperate on the bus, with certain occasions – had to remove her one day due to safety reasons
- Not as willing to play with Emma and Hope, ignoring them as well
She was kicked out of the Boys and Girls club 4 days in, but we kind of figured that was going to happen. We only tried them out because we had run out of time and hadn’t found any other place for her to go. Day 1, she was picked up around 11:30 AM because they didn’t tell her they were moving to another area and she ran to find a safe spot and ended up in a corner in the gym…for about 2 hours. Day 2, she made it through the whole day. Day 3, she hid under the table and wouldn’t come out. Started screaming and kicking, ended up kicking the director, had to leave early. Day 4, seemed to have been going alright, and then Daddy got there…he heard her screaming from outside and when he walked in, he saw her punching the director of the club. She was going for blood, she was very angry and didn’t like it there at all. She was removed from the club on Friday at 5:30! EEEEEK!!! What a great way to kick start a weekend! And to make things worse, summer school was starting on Monday, the bus was scheduled to drop her off there and she was not allowed to come back! Time to call in some favors!!
Thank goodness for one of her teachers, Ms. Stornes, her family was available to not only watch her, but also pick her up from school! What a blessing! She didn’t do well in summer school at all to begin with! She has been throwing things, screaming, kicking and being a very rough child. She got to go swimming, watch movies and have a blast at Ms. Stornes house though. Unfortunately, that was short lived as Ms. Stornes and her family had lots of summer travels to get to. My family was able to help out and Daddy was able to pick her up as well. Also Ms. Kim, her ‘grandma in-kinda-law’ hung out with her on some Fridays and they got to go to some garage sales and other fun stuff. Night overs with Grammy and Papa through the week was a treat for Selena as well. That gave us just enough time to arrange the new babysitter, Ms. Tamika. Which was perfectly timed because Daddy got a new job with extended hours.
I understand that all this change is very difficult for her to take in and the more we change things, the harder it is for her to adjust. We can’t expect her to walk into all these new situations with a smile and a light step, we would be foolish to believe she can handle all of this. No school on Fridays, part school days through the week. It’s a lot of her to adjust to. It’s also difficult for us to not punish her for the things she has done wrong, she needs to be made aware that those kinds of behaviors are not acceptable. Some things we just give a few words for, and others we have her write out apology letters and face grounding. It is difficult for us to figure out just how far to punish her, because of her circumstances. That is an interesting question that I’m going to bring up to her pediatrician, so we can help her be better and not punish her for things that she doesn’t have control over. I just want to help her become a more successful and happier child.
Enough of the negative Nancy stuff. I don’t want to just focus on her issues, I also want to shed light on all the great things she has done and is capable of. Horse back riding is going really well, they have a new program that they are working with her on. She gets a saddle bag, and in that bag is a bunch of cards that have instructions for things she needs to read and then complete. Example, hold your hands on your shoulders and count 2 ten. She did that, in English and Spanish. When she completes a task, she gets chips which equal a certain number of points. She recently reached 100 points and received a $5 gift card to Target, that was awesome for them to do that! Teaches them that through good actions, rewards are obtainable. We had fun going shopping. I couldn’t help myself and had to get some dry erase boards, markers, and some write off books for letters, and 1st grade math. They are going to love playing school. Selena picked out a squishy ball and a Strawberry Shortcake doll. She was very excited to get a reward for her hard work (since she only gets from 20-30 a session, once a week) and to go shopping! Good job Selena!
The girls have been spending the night and it’s been a lot of fun. They still don’t understand why she ignores them during certain situations, why she excessively touches them or why she doesn’t really understand our conversations all the time. But they all love each other, and don’t let it affect them too much and just continue on with what they are doing. I will say that they are learning to just leave her alone and not push her, especially when she gets into certain moods. We all get into certain moods, Selena’s are just more noticeable than others. We’ve been having a blast cooking, doing crafts, going and doing fun activities and enjoying just being together as a family. We always go around at our meals and talk about our favorite part of the day. It makes me so happy to hear that we are their favorite part of the day. One day Hope was waiting in the window for me to get home from work, and when Daddy asked her why she was waiting there, she said it was because I was one of her favorite people in the whole world. Awwwww. So adorable. I love our family. From every flaw to every giggle, I wouldn’t change it for anything.