Dirty Shoes

Join us with our journey through Autism Spectrum Disorder

April 17, 2012 April 17, 2012

These last few months have been so busy! Selena has been improving in so many areas, while also regressing in some other areas. The att-ti-tude is coming in full swing and I do believe it’s just because she’s a 6 year old little girl and nothing more than that! But GEESH! We are trying to understand her inability to understand that there are consequences to her actions. Sometimes it seems like she does bad things on purpose but other times it seems like she has no idea that what she was doing was wrong. But the catch is that I don’t know if she knows that it’s a bad choice while she’s doing it or only understanding it was the wrong thing to do after she gets in trouble for it. For instance, she threw a drumstick at Daddy and claimed that she did it because she was shooting arrows at the trolls. Well, after a bit of discussion on how she could’ve hurt Daddy, I asked her if she knew it was a good thing or a bad thing to do. She told me that she knew it was the wrong thing to do, but couldn’t tell me why she still followed through with it, (like any of us would know WHY we did something wrong, even though we knew it was wrong), she was pretending there were trolls, enough said.

So with that discussion leading almost no where, we remove the sticks from her possession. During the talk, I tell her that we do not kick or throw anything in the house. She agrees with our rule and then proceeds to run into the living room while saying, “But I can kick the ball with my feet, like this!” and kicks her foot out at an imaginary ball. Light bulb goes off in her head and she runs into her room, grabs the pink ball and comes back into the living room. I repeat to her, “Do not kick or throw anything in the house.” She proceeds to tell me, “Mommy, I can kick the ball.” Me, “Do not kick or throw anything in the house.” By now I am just stumped, I am directly telling her not to do it. What does the little turd do? Kicks the damn ball! You have got to be kidding me!!!! So we remove the ball from her and have another talk. My patience is running thin by this point, (it’s been a long weekend of behaviors) but we make it very clear that she is not to throw or kick anything in the house and to only do it outside or when we’re playing a game and an adult tells her it’s OK. She loses the ball. What would you think would be the next appropriate thing to do? Probably quit getting into trouble! Not giving the loss of the drumsticks or the ball a second thought, she runs off saying, “Oooo, I can bowl in my room!” Seriously? At least she’s rolling the ball instead of throwing it…

It seems that if we take something away for her being bad, she just finds joy in everything else around her and there seems to be no attachment to the item she was currently focusing on. It makes it difficult to have her understand choices and negative impacts on choices she makes!!!! I remember a time when I was visually trying to punish her, since physical stuff just doesn’t work and verbal punishment just leads to blank stares and shoulder shrugs. So, I had removed everything from her room. Toys, posters, everything. I will never forget it either. She was sitting on the couch watching me remove everything and on the second trip, she blurts out in a cheerful tone, “Mommy, can I be your super helper?” …facepalm. Another time, I had to take her tea set from her for doing something bad in school. After the explanation of why she was losing it, I  asked her to go get it from her room and bring it to me. No sooner did she leave, but came back with a smile on her face and asked if we were going to have a tea party. I could go on and on for days about these sorts of instances, I’m just trying to give you a general idea that no matter how large or small the punishment is, it just doesn’t seem to register in her brain. I’m going to see if I can do some research on how I can help her understand better, or even trying to understand why she isn’t grasping this. Get on her level with these types of things. How do you punish a child that doesn’t understand? That doesn’t mean she doesn’t get punished, I can guarantee that! Although it seems like we have to have a reoccurring issue, with the same explanation, continuously. Even then it doesn’t always comprehend in her brain!

Ok, enough of the bad stuff. She has been doing so well academically in school, with only a few things in that area that need focused on.  She’s so smart!! It just amazes me with how much she knows, when we can get her in the right mind set and emotional level to want to participate and show us what she’s got!

OH MY GOODNESS, I almost forgot to mention this! Selena had a dentist appointment last Monday to address the issue with the permanent teeth growing in behind her baby teeth. I have been prepping her for the extraction of those front baby teeth, and she was all for it, but when push came to shove, she fought the dentist and they had to break out the restraints. In the end, she had her 4 bottom front teeth removed. She was rather upset, who wouldn’t be, and Daddy carried her all the way back to the car. I was so nervous about the appointment, I left the keys in the ignition!! EEEEK! Thank goodness the car wasn’t stolen! Anyways, about 10-15 minutes down the road, she was already acting a little better. We told her that it was her ‘official rite of passage’ to be a super hero. So from then on, Selena kept saying, “I’m not a kid anymore, I’m a superhero!” She was very excited to know that the tooth fairy was coming that night, which helped get her ready for bed even quicker! Before she went to sleep, I had asked her how much she thought the tooth fairy was going to bring her. She replied with, “1 quarter!” Man, she was going to be surprised to find $5 under her pillow in the morning! All in all, she got inducted into the superhero hall of fame, had a visit from the tooth fairy, got a cute little lisp, and a conversational topic for the whole week.

Hippotherapy started on Saturday! She was excited and nervous at the same time! Selena did so great though, and everyone enjoyed her presence there. The therapist put down that they were to work on sequencing, which has been an issue in the past, but she aced all that they were giving her! So, that means that they are going to make it more difficult next week! I bet all her core muscles were just so sore from that half hour ride!! That didn’t stop her from enjoying her time at the beach!

Sunday was a fun day, we went fishing – which she’s a natural at and had the girls over! I have to cut this short, I hope to elaborate more next time. A pounding headache makes it difficult to finish! (Been working on this for 2 days, good news, I visit the eye doctor next Saturday)



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